To those reading this, I assume you have either experienced the loss of a pet yourself, are anticipating a loss or you are looking to support a loved one through the loss of a pet. I would like to send you my love as I know what a heartbreaking and challenging time this can be for those on all sides. In part 1 of Mourning A Pet Loss, we will discuss ways you can support yourself through the loss of a pet.
Please always keep in mind, that everyone’s grief journey is different and that is completely okay! It is exactly that, a journey. Sometimes we make improvements, sometimes we take steps backward.
Please always be gentle with yourself, you are doing the best you can.
If you haven’t read my blog before, my name is Savana and I would love to connect with you. I am always here to offer my support as a pet loss companion. If you feel as though you need one on one support with someone who understands the loss of a pet, please always feel free to reach out to me through the contact page. I would be honored to support you during this time.
I hope you enjoy the article and find hope through reading it.
The Various Emotions of Grief
It can be helpful to keep in mind the various emotions associated with grief. The following list of emotions and traits of grief are not a complete list and are in no particular order. Everyone grieves differently, at their own pace with their own unique emotions. Some common ones are
Shock, numbness, disbelief, feeling disorganized, confused, anxious, fearful, panicking, physiological changes, protesting emotions, guilt, regret, emptiness, sadness, relief, release, reconciliation, healing.
The Needs in Mourning a Pet Loss
Find The Right Friends For Support
It is important to identify and find the right friends and family for support, this way you can openly and comfortably express to them how you are feeling without judgement.
Unfortunately, not everyone will be the right support system after the loss of a pet. Some may have never even owned a pet so they can’t even possibly imagine what the intense connection and then heartbreak is like once they are gone. Some well-meaning people in your life may also just have very different views than you.
Look for those who have pets, view them the same as you, may have been through a loss before, are supportive, loving and non-judgmental. When you find that support system, share with them whenever you need it, as this can be very helpful for your healing.
Allow Yourself To Hurt
Allowing yourself to hurt is where the healing starts. It is okay if in the beginning you aren’t able to do so or it only comes in small doses. Be gentle with yourself. If you need to cry, let yourself, this helps release the emotions.
Many people don’t want to stop hurting because they think then they don’t love or care for their pet anymore. This is so untrue; your pet doesn’t want you to be sad, they want you to heal, be happy, you will still love and remember them no matter what!
Journaling, meditation and reflection can help sort through your feelings.
Acknowledge The Passing
In the beginning this can be hard as there is usually denial associated with death. Acknowledging the passing of a pet can also bring on fears that one needs to work on such as their on mortality and what you should do next. It is okay to acknowledge that your pet is now gone from the physical world and that you will have to find your new normal.
Remember Your Pet
Often when a pet dies we aren’t able to have a funeral for them like we do for people, this has to do with our society and cultural norms. While the practice is becoming more popular, it is very important to remember your pet that died and honor them in whatever way feels best to you.
Some things you can do to honor and remember your pet are: funeral service, create a photo album or scrap book, write them a letter,create a space with photos and things that your pet loved.
Do what feels right to YOU, it doesn’t matter what other people think.
Follow Your Own Faith And Beliefs
Everyone has their own beliefs on what happens after a pet passes. It is important to tune in and follow your own personal beliefs. It can be extremely comforting to know in your heart that your pet is now in heaven or is still walking right beside you but in a different way.
Don’t listen to those with differing views or those who simply don’t understand the loss and connection with a pet.
Follow your own heart and beliefs.
Find New Routines And Self Care
Sometimes, after a pet dies there can be a feeling of what do I do now? Especially when a pet is sick or at the end of life care stage they often require a lot of our time and our routines may revolve around them. It is important once they are gone to find new routines that are important to you. Add things into your day that excite you, make you happy and are healthy choices!
Take time for whatever self-care means to you, your pet would want you to be happy and taking care of yourself just as you did for them!
In Conclusion
Always be gentle with yourself, mourning looks different for everyone and takes time. Your beloved pet wants you to be healthy and happy.
In part 2, we will discuss how you can help someone you love through the loss of a pet.
Resources for pet loss:
Spirits In Transition– they offer end of life care courses, pet loss support/resources as well as courses
Check out our Pet loss support page